a looong explanation

**warning, you may want to stand-up while reading this post so you don’t nod off in the middle of it as it breaks the “blogging rule” of short, sweet and succint pretty stinkin’ well**

The other day I read a blog post on a friend’s blog titled why blog if no one reads it and thought to myself when I finished reading, well said—rather, well written. I may have secretly envied her way with words but that’s between the Lord and me ;-)

I often ask myself why do I blog and I can’t EVER seem to articulate it properly. But I think that’s because sometimes I struggle with it myself. I wrestle with am I really blogging for the glory of the Lord in everyday life or just so I can say what’s on my mind?

Do I really care about who reads it?

Do I care too much about who reads it?

Do I really have anything of importance or significance to say?

Do I really want to grow as a writer or am I just hoping to “casually” write and one day I’ll be pricked with unimaginable creativity and suddenly I’ll be another blogger who becomes an author? Highly unlikely.

I hope to grow as a writer (and when I say grow I mean by leaps and bounds, I’m quite aware of my 5^th grade writing level, which is ironic since I work in public relations…I digress) but let’s be honest; I’m fascinated with the stories of bloggers turned authors. Most of the time the blogger has simply written about her life in such a way that people engage and relate to her as if she’s sitting on the couch in their own living room talking to them directly.

There’s a part of me that wishes my life was that cool that someone would want to eavesdrop on it. Secretly I like to think it is. But frankly, I know it’s not. Not. At. All. For example, it is 9:45 on a Thursday night and what have I done?

Stayed at work late for no good reason really.

Ate a mismatched dinner of cucumber rolls and left over spinach & artichoke dip.*

Made mashed potatoes for tomorrow night’s dinner (by the way, while peeling the potatoes I remembered why I loathe making this dish).

And am deliberately “practicing” writing (I read today to become a better writer I need to write, write and write more) so I don’t have to put the clean laundry away that is neatly hanging over the end of our bed so it doesn’t get wrinkled.  Who cares that it’s been hanging there since SUNDAY.  I’m practicing writing.

Exciting stuff. Yes. I know.

Clearly my thrilling everyday life is not the reason I blog. Shortly after I read my friend’s post I took a jaunt down blogging memory lane and it was on the journey I discovered why I blog.

Check this out:

it’s a funny thing when you look back how even when you aren’t asking for it, God manages to order each and every step. in college i fell in love with the city upon first glance. i called home and said, “i’m going to live in chicago when i graduate!” it was tough finding a job but, after “tactfully stalking” the CEO of my former agency, i landed an internship and eventually was hired on full-time. thankfully i have very supportive parents who let me pack up my car and drive from connecticut to an unknown city for a less than guaranteed opportunity. when i got here i lived in a one bedroom apartment with a very gracious sorority sister of mine. little did we know, that was the beginning of an unbelievable friendship and a roommate adventure that spanned over four years! the Lord opened many doors and opportunities that just kept telling me this is where i was supposed to be. i don’t know what the next four years will bring but i do know that if when i didn’t even acknowledge my God He was taking care of me, how much more will He now- praise the Lord! 2006 was a year of amazing growth, good and tough- none of which was documented. this is my blog- a place to document my 2007.

That’s the “about” section of my very first blog the Joy is in the Journey.

And THIS is why I blog. In the last four years since I began documenting this life, my thoughts, challenges, joys, loves, hurts and such, A LOT has happened. AND I remember almost ALL of it. Even the times when I didn’t post an entry or went for periods of no posting, the absence even reminds me of what was going on—which yes, can be scary at times. I think that if I didn’t have the faith and trust in God that I do it might overwhelm me but that’s the beautiful thing about it… having it all documented never allows me to forget how He has showed-up in mighty and magnificent ways. And Lord willing, when others see/read Him working in my life it will encourage them too! Check it out, over the past four years here are some of the major highlights either documented or left out:

I got engaged

I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life to date, we ended our engagement

I worked through deep profound sadness (this took a looong time)

My best friend/roommate got married and I stood in her wedding

I lived alone for the first time in my life

I learned to climb resulting in my first alpine climb and attempted summit of Mt. Rainier where I believed for the first time there was a plan for my life

I bought a car for the first time

I fell in love with my Savior

I discovered Beth Moore (life-changing!)

I ran a half marathon or two

I visited Europe, Mexico, Costa Rica, Colorado

I began studying the Bible and leading Bible studies

Experienced first-hand crisis communications at its best

Got engaged again :-)

Planned a wedding in three months

Got married!

Whew! And that’s just a small list. I forgot to mention the break-ins and the roomy I gained before Mr. Z came around who turned into the very best friend I could have asked for.

So that’s why I blog. To remember what God has done, show His goodness and His faithfulness and to get all those wild and crazy thoughts of mine out of my head and into something somewhat constructive—although I guess the constructive part is somewhat debatable.

If you made it to the end of this post, you deserve a medal! In the weeks to come I plan to practice my writing, which means, Lord willing there will be many more posts to come. Thanks for bearing with me, reading all this stuff and joining me on the journey!

*Disclaimer: Mr. Z is in the middle of tax season so I’m back to cooking for one and really, I HATE cooking for one. So more often than not I don’t cook and end up eating weird combination of food.