Monthly Archives: January 2011

a little note from God

this was in my devotions today. guess what stood out the most… yep, confess: your tendency to try to fight your own battles in your own strength.

in this devotion the author, ann spangler, touches on the fact that God wants to fight our external battles but also our internal battles. i find myself often wondering what i’m supposed to do with this life. and it turns into a battle of unsettledness (i’m sure that’s not a word, but whatever, i’m not really concerned right now).i feel like i’m fighting with myself, battling through anxiousness instead of trusting in YAHWEH Nissi (the LORD is my banner). in His timing all things are made beautiful, especially the desires of our heart.

i’m so thankful for a peaceful and loving God who can settle this restless heart.



i was driving to wok listening to accounts of the challenger shuttle explosion. i was a little girl, in kindergarten i think, but i remember it vividly. i thought i’d post president reagan’s speech from that night.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d planned to speak to you tonight to report on the state of the Union, but the events of earlier today have led me to change those plans. Today is a day for mourning and remembering. Nancy and I are pained to the core by the tragedy of the shuttle Challenger. We know we share this pain with all of the people of our country. This is truly a national loss. Nineteen years ago, almost to the day, we lost three astronauts in a terrible accident on the ground. But we’ve never lost an astronaut in flight; we’ve never had a tragedy like this. And perhaps we’ve forgotten the courage it took for the crew of the shuttle. But they, the Challenger Seven, were aware of the dangers, but overcame them and did their jobs brilliantly. We mourn seven heroes: Michael Smith, Dick Scobee, Judith Resnik, Ronald McNair, Ellison Onizuka, Gregory Jarvis and Christa McAuliffe. We mourn their loss as a nation together.

For the families of the seven, we cannot bear, as you do, the full impact of this tragedy. But we feel the loss, and we’re thinking about you so very much. Your loved ones were daring and brave, and they had that special grace, that special spirit that says, “Give me a challenge, and I’ll meet it with joy.” They had a hunger to explore the universe and discover its truths. They wished to serve, and they did. They served all of us. We’ve grown used to wonders in this century. It’s hard to dazzle us. But for 25 years the United States space program has been doing just that. We’ve grown used to the idea of space, and perhaps we forget that we’ve only just begun. We’re still pioneers. They, the members of the Challenger crew, were pioneers.

And I want to say something to the schoolchildren of America who were watching the live coverage of the shuttle’s takeoff. I know it is hard to understand, but sometimes painful things like this happen. It’s all part of the process of exploration and discovery. It’s all part of taking a chance and expanding man’s horizons. The future doesn’t belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave. The Challenger crew was pulling us into the future, and we’ll continue to follow them.

I’ve always had great faith in and respect for our space program, and what happened today does nothing to diminish it. We don’t hide our space program. We don’t keep secrets and cover things up. We do it all up front and in public. That’s the way freedom is, and we wouldn’t change it for a minute. We’ll continue our quest in space. There will be more shuttle flights and more shuttle crews and, yes, more volunteers, more civilians, more teachers in space. Nothing ends here; our hopes and our journeys continue. I want to add that I wish I could talk to every man and woman who works for NASA or who worked on this mission and tell them: “Your dedication and professionalism have moved and impressed us for decades. And we know of your anguish. We share it.”

There’s a coincidence today. On this day 390 years ago, the great explorer Sir Francis Drake died aboard ship off the coast of Panama. In his lifetime the great frontiers were the oceans, and an historian later said, “He lived by the sea, died on it and was buried in it.” Well, today we can say of the Challenger crew: Their dedication was, like Drake’s, complete.

The crew of the space shuttle Challenger honored us by the manner in which they lived their lives. We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved goodbye and “slipped the surly bonds of earth” to “touch the face of God.”


It’s been an interesting week or so and I apologize for my inconsistent posting. Life has been BUSY. I wanted to drop by for a moment though as something interesting is going on around me. I find myself in a new place right now and what’s fascinating is that the Lord has been preparing me for it and I didn’t even know it.  Oh how I wish I had go-go-gadget eyes for how the Lord works. If only I could maintain focus upward on a consistent basis times like this might not come as such a surprise but rather remain a consistent undertone in my life. There are some things that just need to stay private but I wanted to share something really encouraging to me about this moment of time in my life. I wouldn’t have seen that the Lord has been preparing me for this time if I didn’t journal. In my time praying and reading this morning I went back through the past week or so of my journal and saw all my prayers, the scriptures that stuck out to me and my observations—I reread what I sensed the Lord was speaking to me through my prayers and His Word. And as I look up at this small world around me, I know my BIG God is carrying me through it all. If you’re reading this and you are a journal-er, right on! if you aren’t, try it out and see what God does with it. I’m confident He’ll blow your mind with His presence.


went to treat restaurant this weekend. highly reccomend it. good food and reasonable prices. didn’t hurt that i was in good company.

photo sharing

i’m running late this morning (not surprising, being late is my signature) but i didn’t want to neglect you. so i thought i’d share two photos i’ll be sending to my compassion chid today. i’m a HORRIBLE compassion sponsor and told myself i would be better this year. i have a sweet girl in honduras who has been asking for photos of me and my family for a loooong time and i’ve never sent her any. but that’s about to change. i’m picking up prints of these two photos for her to see who i am, who mr. z is as well as our sisters (one of his five and the four of mine). i hope she likes them :-)

i love my sisters

mr. z and i with one of my sisters-in-law

guess where i’d like to be…

be back soon

i’ve been away from this space, perched in my chair at the office or on my couch at home trying to cover every base for a successful launch at work. i hope to be back here with a little post very soon but for now, i leave you with a beautiful truth from the Lord’s word.

Psalm 73: 25-26

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

i’m dreaming

i would never put myself in the dreamer cateory. i think if you asked any of my family memebrs and most of my friends they too would NOT call me a dreamer. i think i’ve almost been too grounded for my own good at times. but lately, i’ve been dreaming, dreaming BIG. i’m not really sure why either. it might have something to do with having mr. z in my life. he tends to think i can do ANYTHING and do anything WELL. he’s totally biased, but his support and encouragement has boosted my dreaming abilities for sure.

nonetheless, as i dream big and ponder awesome things for God, i read these verses in psalm 37 and know it was God telling me to wait on Him more. not to mention yesterday’s sermon was right along these lines. ever feel like you’ve gone to church and the pastor read your mail? like God told him exactly where you are in life. yep, pretty much me these days. it’s been spectacularly comforting!

anyway, back to what i was typing, psalm 37:3-7 spoke loudly to me today.

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

i’m excited. i’m excited to dream BIG for Jesus. to dream like never before. and to TRUST the Lord to do His thing. if there is anything i learned in the 7 year journey the Lord took mr. z and i on before we walked down the aisle it’s this: we are made in the waiting and the more we trust the Maker, the more He can knock our socks off!


you can find me staring out this window, praying and dreaming most mornings. love this spot.



I’m reading Praying the Names of God by Anne Spangler in my devotions and currently I’m reading about YAHWEH (LORD). I thought I’d quickly share about the little kick in the butt I got through this devotion :-)

Exodus 3 is where the scene unfolds in which God meets Moses, tells him he will rescue the Israelites and if they ask who sent him, he is to say God. Moses asks God what he should tell them if they ask for His name. And God responds, “tell them I AM has sent you.” Now I could try to go into what God means by I AM, but that’s not really what stood out to me this week. What really stood out to me is the preceding portion of the passage.

Moses questioned God, why me? Why send me to do this?

And instead of explaining why He chose Moses, God says:

“I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”

Do you see it? God didn’t answer Moses’ question. He doesn’t have to. If God tells us to do something, we need to trust.  But that’s not the part that really stood out to me this time. What did was the sequence of events. God said you will know it is I who sent you because after you bring them out of Egypt you will worship me. See that, AFTER you bring them out of Egypt. AFTER! AFTER you step out in faith and follow my leading you will know it is I who have sent you.

I ask for God to confirm matters of stepping out in faith over and over and over again.  And I question if I’m really the right person for the task over and over and over again. Ahh, but that’s faith. Stepping out and trusting God to do what He does best. Be with me, walk with me, lead me, guide me, keep me.

Happy Saturday :-) go step out in faith today!

a reminder

i wore a reminder around my neck today.

two hearts, intertwined.

one heart is for the z’s and the other for our friends the c’s.

it’s to remind me how committed they are to praying for us and our marriage. i pray every couple is blessed with such a friendship. they were there with us through some really difficult times and never gave up on God for us. love you c’s.

proverbs 3:3

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.